Are we selfish? To want something from someone, does that make us selfish? You might wonder that no, it does not make us selfish, as when they needed us, we were there, so it is their moral responsibility to help us, and we have every right to ask.
Well, if I may, I'd like to share something. We want people to help us, but when they don't, we tend to get angry. Why?
Have you ever wondered? If not here, let me help you !
When we are in trouble, who wants help? Who is asking for help? Who is not getting help? Who is getting angry over it? If you realize, then you'll find that the answer to all these questions is just one word, "I". I am in trouble, I want help, I am asking for help, I am not getting help, I am getting angry over it. The "I" here stands for expectations.
The expectations we have from someone, hurts us the most. Something that we WANT from the person, irrespective if the person is willing to give it or not.
Now wonder? Why are we always angry on someone close to us if they don't do something which we like? And why do we tend to let go if someone not so close or stranger hurts us?
Here is the answer, because we expect something from the person we know. We think that this particular person will help me, but when he/she fails to do so, we fight with them, on the topic. While the fault is ours, as it was us who was expecting and not them.
Expectations often destroy relations, more severely than we can even imagine.
And in the end who gets affected the most? Us.
This is the reason why, we don't get disappointed easily when a stranger fails to help or support us. But when someone close does the same, that hurts us a lot.
You might be wondering, how to improve then? What to do? What not to do?
Well, you might be surprised to know that the answer, is quite simple. Stop expecting. Don't expect something from someone always. 🤯🤯
For eg. If you help a friend in their work, don't expect that they will do the same to you when you are in need of help. At that particular moment, they might be busy in something else, might be more important than your work. But overthinking about this, because your expectations from that person were more is not the correct way to go about.
I'm not saying that don't help anyone, or don't ask for help. Try to let go of your expectations. And the best way to do so, is reduce the use of the word, "I".
Once, you do that, you'll see for yourself that more than half of your problems are gone.🤝
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